Title today is from a Jack Johnson song called Breakdown. Check him out by clicking on the title.
I have been having an internally tortuous time lately. At a spiritual/professional/emotional crossroad that I am torn over within myself. So fire away some prayers and positive thoughts for me that I'll find my place in coming days. In the meantime, here's a first take poetic attempt at dealing with it.
Back Wheels Spinning
By J.D. Rose
A man who doesn’t believe
goodbyes should be spoken
has nothing left
to say. I’ve poured out all of myself
that I could lose and what has grown
from my giving is something
more beautiful to me than anything else I have
delivered to this cold, flat world.
And while going is all my instincts
can echo, my heart is shouting
to stay. My heart is singing
the chorus of the song we have been writing together,
here in this strange place
where truth is the last factor considered
and love is never mentioned,
though it is all I have taught
I have always told my children
that they must be true to themselves,
but I keep finding this bigger purpose
born of my temporary unhappiness. Soon
I can gather what it is I have left of myself
to head west like explorers before me and there
search for truth and love once more, but can I
survive these last days out of place and under siege?
Perhaps I can show those that surround
our tribe we have built that love always wins,
there are no divisions in God…or at least hang on
long enough that my beloveds understand sacrifice
is love in its highest form. Listen to my Jesus complex
guiding my gut to where my heart wants to be.
I can’t give up yet, or at least my spirit
hasn’t been able to decide if part of me can be
detached while the rest of me is entrenched.
For now I remain,
divided over my commitment, confident in my calling.
Nov 2, 2005
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2 comments:
"How com ethe things that make us happy make us sad
Well it seems to me that
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain......
The ones you care for give you so much pain
Oh but it's alright they're both one in the same
Don't it seem we go through life going up and down
Seems the things that turn you on turn you around
Always hurting each other if it ain't one thing it's another
but when the world is down on you love's somewhere around
Well it seems to me that
Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain......
Over and over you can be sure
There will be sorrow but you will endure
Where there's a flower there's the sun and the rain
Oh and it's wonderful there both one in the same."
-Joy and Pain, Maze-
Ok, so I've never actually heard this song but I love the lyrics and they seem to ring so true. We have already come to terms with the fact that I am a crappy communicator I just want you to know you're in my prayers and I am thinking about you. Much love.
I can feel it in the thunder rolling, lightning crashing
It’s our time, the wait is over
Fire’s burning, floods are rising
It’s our time, the wait is over
Sitting in ashes, we’re broken,
with our faces downward,
Like there’s nothing we are looking forward to
We’ve been waiting so long
For this moment all of our lives
Let it pour out
I can feel it in the thunder rolling, lightning crashing
It’s our time, the wait is over
Fire’s burning, floods are rising
It’s our time, the wait is over
Hoping and praying in silence,
That the blessings of the former
isn’t the end of what we look forward to
We’ve been waiting so long
For this moment all of our lives
Let it pour out
-"The Wait is Over" by Disciple
Not sure if this is relevant, but it's a good song. Here is some more wisdom that I didn't make up myself...haha
Those who keep speaking about the sun while walking under a cloudy sky are messengers of hope, the true saints of our day.
-- Henri Nouwen
You'll be in my prayers, God bless!
Chase
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