This title/lyric is a line from U2's song Grace off of their All That You Can't Leave behind album. Clicking on the title will take you to Yahoo's video page for U2.This evening when I got into the office I had an email from an old friend in Evansville at the church I served there. He asked me my opinion about the Marriage Equality Act that was passed this summer at the General Synod of the United Church of Christ, the denomination I serve and am a member of. When I read back over my answer I decided it was as honest as I had been about the subject with myself and decided it belonged here. Here is my response. If you'd like to read the whole resolution you can go the UCC website, linked to the right and search for Marriage Equality Act. I edited this only to remove my private comments to him. He asked me to address the seven statements that made up the resolution. This is my longwinded answer:
Before I address the seven points and the resolution as a whole let me say this: I think our denomination is gravely off track in many ways. While I see the need to serve the least of us and stand up for minority voices I also feel that by doing so we have made ourselves much less effective servants of all others, including other minorities. Why not have a resolution saying that the 1.4 million UCC members should each sponsor a starving child? Why don't we build a Habitat house for each church in our ranks, or spend some time serving the homeless, impoversihed, and oppressed within our own country? This cause seems so passionate for some and I wonder why they are not also insulted by these other realities. I believe a large part of why this issue became a focal point in our own denomination is our own connection to it; our ordination of gays and lesbians. But I must think that in part this was a response to political thoughts of recent years that would seek to Constitutionally define marriage.
I believe there is no legal, ethical, or moral basis for denying the rights of same-sex partners when it comes to the nearly 1400 rights the resolution mentions, ranging from hospital visits to inheritance claims to parenting rights. I think my generation and the generations to follow are much more comfortable with same sex couples, same sex parents, and gay culture in general. This is probably largely due to the fact that we have seen gay characters, gay couples, in fact gay story lines in our own popular entertainment for nearly two decades. And while I think there is something to be said for these images making homosexuality a more readily accepted part of life, it has also made the lives of gansta rappers, spoiled heiresses, reailty tv stars, and c-list celebrities appealing and I would argue these are more detrimental than nearly all images of gays and lesbians in tv, music, and movies. I also believe that my generatiuon and those behind us, do indeed know personally more gay and lesbian men and women. I think this has to do simply with the growing acceptance 'coming out of the closet' is recieving each day. I do not in fact believe there are more gays and lesbians per capita than at any other time in history. I think our society is just less discriminate of them. I think that is a good thing.
I also believe that my generation and the ones to follow have little respect for the tradition of marriage. How could we? We are the sons and daughter of a 52 percent divorce rate (and climbing). We see Hollywodd couples be glorified and scrutinized on every grocery store newssatnd. We see dysfunctional families celebrated on talk shows that generally parade out as many adulterers as possible within a given hour. We see reality shows that make choosing a spouse a game; for bachelors, for bachelorettes, for your dad, for midgets, for fat guys. Most of us come from families built like no others before us. I know of families that have three generations of offspring; Dad is also the granddad to kids of similar ages. In a scoiety where pleasure and status are every day a higher priority, where the President's extramarital affair makes his mistress a celebrity and his wife a Senator, and his successor a moral leader simply because his lies are about war and not his family, my generation puts little value on marriage. How could we?
Teenagers are having sex earlier and earlier. We are going to college and staying unmarried longer and longer. This serves to increase the number of not only sexual partners, but years of sexual activity before we 'settle down' and there is a low success rate of abstinence programs, because like every generation we are more bound to do that which you tell us we can't than that which you tell us we should.
We believe overwhelmingly that there is 'one' person for every one, yet many of us have seen in the generation we were raised by that the odds are still stacked against us that we will find them. And so love becomes something we aspire to, but don't practice and don't expect for ourselves. In all this mess, life is twice as complicated for us than any generation before.
Just having knowledge is more difficult than ever before. How are we to take it all in? With over 300 channels to watch, nonstop news coverage that seems painfully simple, unprecendented spin machines on each side of the narrow debate field, bad examples for us of what a Christian should look like, and even simpler choices for our own Christianity (am I really to believe God sends hurricanes or strikes down schools that teach evolution, blows up buildings out of anger? Can life really be lived 40 days at a time?) w are confused and there seem to be no teachers without agendas. (Does there need to be a Prayer of Jabez coffee mug? A Purpose Driven Life tote bag?) My generation (so quick I am speak for it) and the geneations to follow (which I've spent seven years living for) are quick to dismiss anything that seems insincere and quicker still to hold on to anything that seems true. All of this informs my own feeligns, my own reactions, and ultimately my beliefs when it comes to the Marriage Equality Act passed by the UCC.
For starters my statement of faith has become increasingly small. In my quest to find that which is true for me within the Bible's teachings I have consistently gravitated toward two sentences spoken by the only speaker in the Bible I give ultimate authority to. In Matthew the following exchange happens:
MT 22:34-40 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " `Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."In Mark the story is told this way:
MK 12:28-31 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: `Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."I believe God is calling me to start a church in a few years that wrestles with some of the cultural obstacles I ranted about before and I believe these two statements will be our only statement of faith. They are mine now. I try to see everything through these two commands and strive each day to more fully live them. I am a long way from making a real effort. They are all the theology I bring with me to every discussion. I know that this passage is quoted at some point in the resolution. I have read and read and searched and hunted for Jesus' words on homosexuality and have found none. I have found many passages where he speaks to things we seemingly gloss over. How is the divorce rate among Christians so high if we are reading Jesus words seriously?
I believe that if Jesus were here today he would not be in the UCC, at St. Paul's or First Church in Bluffton. I believe he would not be in a church at all, but rather out and among the people of this world, those most in need of a doctor to heal them and those least bound by rules and most in tune with their spirit. I unfortunately know many people who can quote the rules, but do not live by Spirit. Thanfully, I know many other people led by it. But to many of our brothers and sisters in the church I am afraid they would understand how the Pharicees felt when they were around Jesus. This makes me cautious at how much I assume that rules cannot be broken.
I also think the whole notion of a resolution is weak. How can a non-representative body speak to an organization of autonomous churches? We even say that the resolution is but a suggestion...which I find is our way of conceding its weakness.
Now to the question you asked me...
THEREFORE LET IT BE RESOLVED, that the Twenty-fifth General Synod of the United Church of Christ affirms equal marriage rights for couples regardless of gender and declares that the government should not interfere with couples regardless of gender who choose to marry and share fully and equally in the rights, responsibilities and commitment of legally recognized marriage; and The word 'affirms' bothers me. Many people see it as condones. I see their point, but I do not. Rather I am tired of the word in genral. If same-sex couples are to be truly married, than we should not have to affirm that, nor should their rights be limited. If it is rights we are fighting for, affrimation is too weak a word. Why not demand? This wording makes it sound like we are affriming something that already exists. Same-sex marriage, except for in a select few places does not. To call for it is just jumping the gun in the way this resolution is written. We cannot affirm something that cannot exist. If we are fighting for it, fine. That's a different issue. Now the word 'declares' has lost all its punch with this vague affirm business. I don't see how as Americans we could deny rights to married couples. As a church I don't see how it is our place to affirm that which we haven't won yet in regards to universal same sex marrriages. This statement is weak and poorly offered. It ought to say 'we belive'...'therefore we decare'...'therefore we call for.'
If we are calling for a denomination wide acceptance and practive of marrying same gender copuples we have a whole lot of talking and debating OR changing our polity to do before this statement is both appropriate or all that meaningful in the grand scheme of our denominations future. However it has become the one part of this resolution everyone has focused on, when I find it to be the weakest part of this resolution.
LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Twenty-fifth General Synod of the United Church of Christ affirms equal access to the basic rights, institutional protections and quality of life conferred by the recognition of marriage; and I don't see how anyone could have a problem with this part. If two people are married they should have the same rights as all other married people.
LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Twenty-fifth General Synod calls for an end to rhetoric that fuels hostility, misunderstanding, fear and hatred expressed toward gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons; and I would have no problem championing this part either. Such hatred only limits the dialogue and from the perspective of Christians is in fact not reflective of how I believe we are to act. I refer to Matthew 22:39.
I would like to speak to the following four statements as one whole...
LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Officers of the United Church of Christ are called upon to communicate this resolution to local, state and national legislators, urging them to support equal marriage rights for couples regardless of gender.
In recognition that these resolutions may not reflect the views or current understanding of all bodies, and acknowledging the pain and struggle their passage will engender within the gathered church, the General Synod encourages the following:
LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Twenty -fifth General Synod calls upon all settings of the United Church of Christ to engage in serious, respectful, and prayerful discussion of the covenantal relationship of marriage and equal marriage rights for couples regardless of gender, using the "God is still speaking, about Marriage" study and discussion guide produced by Wider Church Ministries of the United Church of Christ (available online at UCC.org); and
LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Twenty-fifth General Synod calls upon congregations, after prayerful biblical, theological, and historical study, to consider adopting Wedding Policies that do not discriminate against couples based on gender; and
LET IT BE FINALLY RESOLVED, that the Twenty-fifth General Synod urges the congregations and individuals of the United Church of Christ to prayerfully consider and support local, state and national legislation to grant equal marriage rights to couples regardless of gender, and to work against legislation, including constitutional amendments, which denies civil marriage rights to couples based on gender. I believe the sentiments of these preceding statements are spot on. We do indeed need to be respectful and prayerful about this issue. We would indeed benefit from dialogue and open discussion. I am afriad that following the previous three statements, especially the first one, much of this was a moot point. We cannot have dialogue about an issue we have already adopted a position on. While I think allowing for the officers to lobby on behalf of this issue is jumping the gun, these passages do seem to strongly encourage dialogue and reflection. There was room to make this exactly what these four statements call for, but when the story broke, those chances went out the window. This became the UCC's 'coming out' party.
Here is John Thomas'
(President and General Minister of UCC) statement to the press:
On this July fourth, the General Synod of the United Church of Christ has acted courageously to declare freedom, affirming marriage equality, affirming the civil right of same gender couples to have their relationships recognized as marriages by the state, and encouraging our local churches to celebrate and bless those marriages. I believe the General Synod has acted both out of a concern for justice, demanding that the present discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons be ended, as well as out of a theological conviction that same gender couples are as capable of fulfilling the vocation of marriage as heterosexual couples, a vocation described in our marriage rite as one in which couples offer each other mutual care and companionship, bear witness to God’s great gift of joy for them and for others exemplified in the story of Jesus at the wedding at Cana in Galilee, and in the intimacy of their relationship, represent the intimacy of Christ’s love for the Church. This action continues the long trajectory of resolutions by the General Synod which have affirmed the full human dignity of all persons and the welcoming affirmation of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons as members and ministers in the church.
The issue of marriage equality is the source of great conflict in our society today, as well as in the churches. The United Church of Christ is no exception; there are clearly great differences among our own members over this issue. The General Synod’s action does not presume a consensus of opinion among our members or our local churches which are free and responsible to come to their own mind on this issue as on any other. The General Synod speaks to and not for our local churches. It speaks a word of teaching, of encouragement, and of challenge. Today’s word is not the last word in the United Church of Christ, but a crucial and groundbreaking first word in a difficult but important church-wide discussion. The resolution itself calls for a church wide discussion of marriage as part of what now becomes the critical process of receiving this General Synod’s action in the life of our congregations.
I want to express my deep appreciation to the delegates for the thoughtful, prayerful, and respectful way they have sought to discern God’s will on this matter during our time in Atlanta. I pray that the gracious spirit of our discussions here will set the tone for the conversations that will continue back home in our conferences and local churches. In a world that is deeply divided, the witness of a church that can express differences without division, that can be unified without demanding uniformity, can be a great gift.
Above all, I give thanks to God that this General Synod, like many before it, has been led by the Spirit to reaffirm God’s extravagant welcome to all, and to act with evangelical courage on behalf of the vulnerable and the excluded in our midst. The days ahead will not be easy as we bear the cost of this decision. But the hope this action brings to so many in our world who have known harsh and bitter rejection surely is and will be a source of joy to us as well.One sentence about how this was not a consensus of our our churches. One sentence about how this was not set in stone at all UCC churches.
Here are the headlines the vote produced:
ABC News-
United Church of Christ Overwhelmigly Backs Gay MarriageMSNBC-
United Church of Christ Ednorses Gay MarriageCatholicism.com-
United Church of Christ Approves Homosexual MarriageSeattle Times-
United Church of Christ Votes to Endorse Gay MarriageNew York Times-
United Church of Christ Backs Same-Sex MarriageMTV.com-
Mainstream U.S. Church Endorses Gay MarriageI'm afraid after July 5, much of the damage was done.
There would be no dialogue after that.
I believe the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin. I believe it also states many things are sinful that I individually and we as a society expressly ignore. One youth I've come to know here has questioned how the Sabbath ever came to be thought of as Sunday. I did some research. We simply changed it. I've also been reading and studying how we came to choose, and indeed edit much of Scripture, settling on these 66 books (for Protestants, unless you believe Luther that there are 3 lesser books in the New Testament as well). We touch pig skin, we work on the Sabbath, we no longer sell our daughters into slavery. Those are just three moments of teaching from Leviticus, the same place homosexuality is most expressly condemned. Women can be minitsers and teachers and Paul seems to say they should not. We believe the death penalty is socailly acceptable because of 'an eye for an eye' when that is clearly refering to debt, yet we clearly ignore 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' when our own interests are at stake. And I'm not saying we shouldn't have the death penalty or a standing army. I'm saying for me, the Bible is no longer applicable in a literal way in many instances. This calls into question every issue for me, inlcuding homosexuality.
I have known many gay and lesbian individuals and found them to be warm and bright, hateful and promiscuous, committed and loving at about the same rate my heterosexual friends are. I believe homosexuals do not choose to be so. I do no think of it as a lifestyle any more than I view my own heterosexuality that way. I beleieve there is already strong evidence showing a genetic link to homosexuality. I believe in my lifetime it will be further and finally proved. What do we do then?
For me, much of what I'm told, by friends and members of this church alike, in rebuttal to the headlines above or the vaguely offered intentions of the Marriage Equality Act is that The Bible prohibits it. I will not dispute that. I simply believe that in a modern world, where values are in flux and knowledge is hard to come by, I have to trust my heart on this and many other issues. I have decided to allow for the existence of not only homosexuals by God's design, but love and marriage as well. I do not profess to understand it. I am not yet ready to fight for it. But I am trying to love God with all I have and my neighbor as myself. And I wouldn't want anyone to tell me that how I was created or how my heart led me to be was wrong. I refuse to be one who carries such a notion within my heart. In a world where sincerity is hard to come by I have chosen to simply offer up my honest thoughts and their honest limitations.
Who named their child this? This should be a whole separate category for Inappropriate parenting. I'm sure the Wisdoms are just innocent souls. 
