I don't really dig Supertramp, except for their hit Give a Little Bit. I'm not sure a song has captured the Gospel better than that one. I know many that have failed in capturing it. Take this link to hear one of these, J.D.'s least favorite Christmas song.
I promise this is the last of my news report rants...for a while. But this one was like the flipside of the previous posts and needed to be shared.
LONDON (Reuters) - A "Parking Ticket Santa Claus" has been spreading cash as well as Christmas cheer around the English city of Birmingham, a newspaper reported Wednesday.
The mystery Santa has placed Christmas cards containing 30 pounds ($53) on the windscreens of drivers who have received parking tickets, the Daily Telegraph said.
"Don't let this ticket spoil your Christmas," declares a note in each card. "Here's #30 to pay it off. Merry Christmas - Parking Ticket Santa."
Fourteen drivers are believed to have received gifts from the unseen Father Christmas, who has given his profession an image boost after a string of stories about "Bad Santas."
In recent days, men in Santa outfits have been accused of committing armed robbery in Germany, exposing themselves in southern England and going on a drunken rampage in New Zealand.
Santa is working on his public persona. He's gotta keep that Coca-Cola endorsement deal.
This article put me in the mood to reflect on the last acts of unconditional charity I recieved and perfomed. And then it occured to me, most nice things done for me, and all of them I've done for people had some strings attached. You know I helped move a couple friends last month, but all the while I was thinking "now when I move they owe me." I was thinking about this as I turned the radio on and heard that horrible Chrsitmas Shoes song again. I can't tell you how much that song bothers me.
So I decided to get proactive. What was it that bothered me so much about it? A little searching and I discovered in part what bothered me so much about it. Its a metaphor for the whole lost holiday-a glitzy simpler version of a once beautiful thing. I present The Christmas Shoes more holy ancestor:
The Gold Slippers
It was only four days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn't yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our local discount store. Inside the store, it was worse. Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles.
Why did I come today? I wondered. My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted nothing but I knew their feelings would be hurt if I didn't buy them anything.
Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered gift buying anything but fun. Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.
In front of me were two small children - a boy of about 5 and a younger girl. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl's clothing resembled her brother's. Her head was a matted mass of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face. She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the Christmas music sounded in the store's stereo system, the girl hummed along, off key but happily.
When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a treasure.
The clerk rang up the bill. "That will be $6.09," she said. The boy laid his crumpled dollars atop the stand while he searched his pockets. He finally came up with $3.12. "I guess we will have to put them back, " he bravely said. "We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow."
With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But Jesus would have loved these shoes, " she cried.
"Well, we'll go home and work some more. Don't cry. We'll come back," he said.
Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas. Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank you lady."
"What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the shoes?" I asked.
The boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus."
The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes. Won't mommy be beautiful walking on those streets to match these shoes?"
My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. "Yes" I answered, "I am sure she will."
Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true spirit of giving."
--Anonymous
For me this story is fuller, deeper in its description and its message. The lady feels how we feel about Christmas and the kid doesn't beg for the money, and his mom isn't dying in minutes while he's out getting her shoes. Plus we don't have to hear that guy BMing his way through the song or those kids. When I hear the song I think that the story is quite beautiful, but it's being used, manipulated to tug at my heart strings. It is a something with strings attached, a hit record maybe and airplay. I hear it and think, they want me to like this just because of its message, when in taking a deeper look I see the cutting and pasting of a larger story.
In much the same way we've made the Christmas story a watered down version of its original. It has become a Sunday evening movie of the week with Rob Lowe and Brad Paisley's wife, and Christmas is just the setting of the scene, not the celebration of a blessed event. We need to remind ourselves this season and all seasons to enact love that comes with no strings attahced. And so I yearn to hear O Holy Night, all verses, the most powerful Christmas hymn for my two cents.
O Holy Night
O Holy Night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees,
O hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night divine, O night divine, O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need; to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!
Truly he taught us to love one another!
Turn on whatever music fills you with joy this Christmas. Do whatever makes you happy. Spend time with people you love. But while you are doing this, look around for people you can love with no strings attached. Find ways you can help someone or care for some one for no other reason than he taught us to.
I will probably not be posting the next several days. I'm headed home and the Rents don't have internet access. I'll be roughing it. So let me say to any of you who still read this besides my mom and dad, this has been good for me to rant and explore and explain where I am coming from. I hope it's meaningful to you as well. I wish everyone a blessed holy day season in coming days.
Dec 22, 2005
Dec 21, 2005
To be yourself is all that you can do.
The title today comes from an Audioslave song called Be Yourself that I used on the 2005 Tri-Level Camp CD. I'll say more about the camp CD later, but if you'd like to check out Audioslave's website click on the title.
Last night I regained a memory. We'll not discuss if its past binge drinking or stored intelligence, age, or human nature to lose and regain memories, but last night I regained a memory; probably not one of my best memories either. I am almost 100 percent sure I was dressed up as Santa once and made to act like I was stuck in a chimney because of my girth while my classmates sang a song called "He's Too Fat For The Chimney". I googled this song and found nothing, but I'm sure this actually happened because I remember these words:
There's no room for his tummy, please do something mommy
Without Santa Clause oh how can Christmas begin?
I clearly didn't imagine this song right? Am I losing it or did this actually take place? Was I dressed up in a Santa costume and jammed into a chimney while my peers sang about how fat I was? I think so!!!
I know for certain in fourth grade I was put in a skirt and taught a Greek dance that I performed with five other skirt-wearing boys in front of the whole school! Kostes Zestos was a classmate of mine and actually from Greece, so that made the dance seem somehow cool, but in retrospect, NO, it wasn't.
Sometime in elementary school we did a Care Bears play and we all nancied around as Care Bears. I think I was pretty young when this went on so I get a pass, and fourth grade I suppose I can't be held acoountable for. But this Santa thing was fifth or sixth grade and somebody dropped the ball on this.
You cannot ask, allow, or encourage a pre-teen to accentuate what will clearly be his physical hindrance throughout adolescence and let his peers poke fun at it.
What kind of teachers did I have? Where were my parents? What was I thinkin'?
I'd like to believe that we flush such memories or learn to laugh at them in context. I'm afraid we sew them to our self conciousness. The University of Texas at Austin has a web page devoted to self-esteem and have this to say:
Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.
For people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments.
I'd like to reassure my parents, any teachers who clearly took turns humiliating me, classmates who sang to me about being fat, and friends who call me 'big guy' and stuff like that that I do not suffer from low self-seteem. Indeed I am an egomaniac!
However I do think we should pay close attention to what we say to one another and especially how the little things we do and say and ask each other to perform reflect our respect for that person's worth. The fact is I am a big guy so the phrase doesn't bother me. When people refer to my bald head I chuckle, because I am in fact bald. But I'm 26 and have spent a great deal of time being encouraged since I was forced to play fat in fifth grade. The truth of that experience is probably that I volunteered for the part, hell I might have campaigned for it. I held the spotlight for the duration of the song regardless of its message and I know I hammed it up because that's what I do when the spotlight's on. It wasn't a repressed memory. It was a misplaced one, because I have had a million other experiences sicne then to affirm who I was and replace that one. The trick, or the danger, is when the kid who doesn't have that kind of perspective, the support around him, or the need to be spotlighted is thrust into that role. Too often kids have very few memories besides the ones when all their friends were laughing at them.
I remember the moment I chose to walk out of the spotlight and into this life. It wasn't because I didn't enjoy perfomring and it isn't becuase I don't still yearn to be sung about and spotlighted-it's because I root for the underdog and if there were ever a better group of underdogs to champion than kids who have been mistreated and don't have healthy self-esteem I've never seen them.
In your life there is someone that has been made fun of, laughed at, made to humiliate himself; many times in bigger more traumatic fashion than my regained memory. This season is as good a time as any to lift them up. Shine a little light on them and let them know how special they are. In the end, the only thing we can be is who we really are, but how we feel about ourselves makes all the difference. The capacity to change that is in our hands. People always remember when a little light was thrown on them.
Last night I regained a memory. We'll not discuss if its past binge drinking or stored intelligence, age, or human nature to lose and regain memories, but last night I regained a memory; probably not one of my best memories either. I am almost 100 percent sure I was dressed up as Santa once and made to act like I was stuck in a chimney because of my girth while my classmates sang a song called "He's Too Fat For The Chimney". I googled this song and found nothing, but I'm sure this actually happened because I remember these words:
There's no room for his tummy, please do something mommy
Without Santa Clause oh how can Christmas begin?
I clearly didn't imagine this song right? Am I losing it or did this actually take place? Was I dressed up in a Santa costume and jammed into a chimney while my peers sang about how fat I was? I think so!!!
I know for certain in fourth grade I was put in a skirt and taught a Greek dance that I performed with five other skirt-wearing boys in front of the whole school! Kostes Zestos was a classmate of mine and actually from Greece, so that made the dance seem somehow cool, but in retrospect, NO, it wasn't.
Sometime in elementary school we did a Care Bears play and we all nancied around as Care Bears. I think I was pretty young when this went on so I get a pass, and fourth grade I suppose I can't be held acoountable for. But this Santa thing was fifth or sixth grade and somebody dropped the ball on this.
You cannot ask, allow, or encourage a pre-teen to accentuate what will clearly be his physical hindrance throughout adolescence and let his peers poke fun at it.
What kind of teachers did I have? Where were my parents? What was I thinkin'?
I'd like to believe that we flush such memories or learn to laugh at them in context. I'm afraid we sew them to our self conciousness. The University of Texas at Austin has a web page devoted to self-esteem and have this to say:
Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.
For people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments.
I'd like to reassure my parents, any teachers who clearly took turns humiliating me, classmates who sang to me about being fat, and friends who call me 'big guy' and stuff like that that I do not suffer from low self-seteem. Indeed I am an egomaniac!
However I do think we should pay close attention to what we say to one another and especially how the little things we do and say and ask each other to perform reflect our respect for that person's worth. The fact is I am a big guy so the phrase doesn't bother me. When people refer to my bald head I chuckle, because I am in fact bald. But I'm 26 and have spent a great deal of time being encouraged since I was forced to play fat in fifth grade. The truth of that experience is probably that I volunteered for the part, hell I might have campaigned for it. I held the spotlight for the duration of the song regardless of its message and I know I hammed it up because that's what I do when the spotlight's on. It wasn't a repressed memory. It was a misplaced one, because I have had a million other experiences sicne then to affirm who I was and replace that one. The trick, or the danger, is when the kid who doesn't have that kind of perspective, the support around him, or the need to be spotlighted is thrust into that role. Too often kids have very few memories besides the ones when all their friends were laughing at them.
I remember the moment I chose to walk out of the spotlight and into this life. It wasn't because I didn't enjoy perfomring and it isn't becuase I don't still yearn to be sung about and spotlighted-it's because I root for the underdog and if there were ever a better group of underdogs to champion than kids who have been mistreated and don't have healthy self-esteem I've never seen them.
In your life there is someone that has been made fun of, laughed at, made to humiliate himself; many times in bigger more traumatic fashion than my regained memory. This season is as good a time as any to lift them up. Shine a little light on them and let them know how special they are. In the end, the only thing we can be is who we really are, but how we feel about ourselves makes all the difference. The capacity to change that is in our hands. People always remember when a little light was thrown on them.
Dec 20, 2005
It's sad, so sad. It's a sad sad situation and it's getting more and more absurd.
The title/lyric today comes from my favorite Elton John song Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word, lyrics by Bernie Taupin. Click on the title to go see Elton's colorful website.
I had a pretty good night once I decided to stop doing what I had planned...
I take it all back and I'm done tryng to seek hope where none is identifiable.
The Green Bay Packers lost to the BALTIMORE RAVENS 48-3 on Monday Night Football!
Samkon Gado, Green Bay's eleventh running back of the season got hurt early, Brett Favre threw two more interceptions, and Aaron Rodgers replaced him at quarterback in the third quarter. The Baltimore Ravens have only won four games this season, well now five, having beaten such standouts as Cleveland, NY Jets, and Houston, and here they were on primetime TV whupping my Pack. I read all this by the way, becaue I turned off the TV with six minutes to go in the first quarter when it was 14-0. I didn't need to see it.
It's amazing to me how much sports changes peoples moods, perhaps we're too into our teams. Yesterday a ton of people acted like someone had died around here when Indy lost for the first time this season. Anybody that knows anything about football will tell you it's better to lose one game now than go into the playoffs undefeated. Ask Don Shula. Mike Ditka's 85 Bears got beat once, at about this time in the season and then destroyed everybody they met throughout the playoffs. So confident was that team they immortalized themselves with the SUperbowl Shuffle, a truly wretched rap that all copies of should be burnt. Something tells me we won't see a Colts Shuffle, although I'd be interested in seeing Peyton Manning's dance moves.
So as we've known since week four the Pack will not be playing in the playoffs and I predict lose by three touchdowns the next two weeks, shattering my once rational argument that they weren't that bad. I will now start rooting for the best matchups as we move into the playoffs. I'm looking forward to a Colts-Patriots playoff game and maybe a Colts-Bengals shootout to see who represents the AFC in the Superbowl. I feel inclined to root for Seattle headed into the Superbowl, as Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselback were both once Packers. I hope Washington and Tampa Bay make the playoffs and Dallas and Minnesota don't. I think we'll be surprised by how good the Superbowl is unless the Giants represent the NFC, because I think they're pretenders and I hope that Pittsburgh gets put out of their misery because we all know what they do under Bill Cowher in the Superbowl when given the chance-they get their ass beat. I hope Denver loses by a lot. I hope the Bears play the Seahawks for the NFC championship. I hope San Francisco gets the first draft pick and chooses Reggie Bush. I hope Green Bay drafts some defenders and signs some linemen. I hope Brett Favre doesn't retire.
My mom relayed to me that she saw an interview with Favre last week where he said something to the effect of 'you have good seasons and bad. I've had a lot of good seasons and I hope that's how people remeber me.' I'm not willing to say he should retire. I don't think he should. But for the love of Pete can the Packers seriously consider trying to build a team of players? They're horrible.
I feel better having ranted. I'm a Indiana Hoosiers basketball fan so there could be dark nights ahead. My baseball team seems to have gotten its act together, although Frank Thomas will probably be an Oakland Athletic next year. Uggh!
It's little things that make life worthwhile in the midst of imagined chaos and real drama.
I sure would've liked if the Pack coulda won tonight. It'd be nice if my team was good and my rooting for them not useless. But in reality the time I spent not watching them produced a blogpost that friends will read and allowed me to call some friends I don't talk to enough.
In that way the Packers getting blown out was a blessing to me. It's probably worth saying that all the times we think something's gone terribly wrong an unexpected new opportunity presents itself.
Have a stressless holiday season or at least try, and all those times it seems to not be going right, trust that it's going exactly like it should.
I had a pretty good night once I decided to stop doing what I had planned...
I take it all back and I'm done tryng to seek hope where none is identifiable.
The Green Bay Packers lost to the BALTIMORE RAVENS 48-3 on Monday Night Football!
Samkon Gado, Green Bay's eleventh running back of the season got hurt early, Brett Favre threw two more interceptions, and Aaron Rodgers replaced him at quarterback in the third quarter. The Baltimore Ravens have only won four games this season, well now five, having beaten such standouts as Cleveland, NY Jets, and Houston, and here they were on primetime TV whupping my Pack. I read all this by the way, becaue I turned off the TV with six minutes to go in the first quarter when it was 14-0. I didn't need to see it.
It's amazing to me how much sports changes peoples moods, perhaps we're too into our teams. Yesterday a ton of people acted like someone had died around here when Indy lost for the first time this season. Anybody that knows anything about football will tell you it's better to lose one game now than go into the playoffs undefeated. Ask Don Shula. Mike Ditka's 85 Bears got beat once, at about this time in the season and then destroyed everybody they met throughout the playoffs. So confident was that team they immortalized themselves with the SUperbowl Shuffle, a truly wretched rap that all copies of should be burnt. Something tells me we won't see a Colts Shuffle, although I'd be interested in seeing Peyton Manning's dance moves.
So as we've known since week four the Pack will not be playing in the playoffs and I predict lose by three touchdowns the next two weeks, shattering my once rational argument that they weren't that bad. I will now start rooting for the best matchups as we move into the playoffs. I'm looking forward to a Colts-Patriots playoff game and maybe a Colts-Bengals shootout to see who represents the AFC in the Superbowl. I feel inclined to root for Seattle headed into the Superbowl, as Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselback were both once Packers. I hope Washington and Tampa Bay make the playoffs and Dallas and Minnesota don't. I think we'll be surprised by how good the Superbowl is unless the Giants represent the NFC, because I think they're pretenders and I hope that Pittsburgh gets put out of their misery because we all know what they do under Bill Cowher in the Superbowl when given the chance-they get their ass beat. I hope Denver loses by a lot. I hope the Bears play the Seahawks for the NFC championship. I hope San Francisco gets the first draft pick and chooses Reggie Bush. I hope Green Bay drafts some defenders and signs some linemen. I hope Brett Favre doesn't retire.
My mom relayed to me that she saw an interview with Favre last week where he said something to the effect of 'you have good seasons and bad. I've had a lot of good seasons and I hope that's how people remeber me.' I'm not willing to say he should retire. I don't think he should. But for the love of Pete can the Packers seriously consider trying to build a team of players? They're horrible.
I feel better having ranted. I'm a Indiana Hoosiers basketball fan so there could be dark nights ahead. My baseball team seems to have gotten its act together, although Frank Thomas will probably be an Oakland Athletic next year. Uggh!
It's little things that make life worthwhile in the midst of imagined chaos and real drama.
I sure would've liked if the Pack coulda won tonight. It'd be nice if my team was good and my rooting for them not useless. But in reality the time I spent not watching them produced a blogpost that friends will read and allowed me to call some friends I don't talk to enough.
In that way the Packers getting blown out was a blessing to me. It's probably worth saying that all the times we think something's gone terribly wrong an unexpected new opportunity presents itself.
Have a stressless holiday season or at least try, and all those times it seems to not be going right, trust that it's going exactly like it should.
Dec 19, 2005
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the yuletide gay!
The people I work for freak out over the word gay. It didn't used to mean godless infidels, but it does now, at least around here. Yesterday we went caroling and we were singing Deck the Halls and when it got to the line 'Don we now our gay apparel' all my fellow carolers looked at me suspiciously. I don't now how I came to represent all things queer to these people and I guess I don't care. Later yesterday my kids and I were talking about our favorite Christmas song and I said mine was Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. When I started thinking of the words and got to the above line I thought, 'well that figures.' The link today (click on the title) will take you to what I thought was one funny commercial, although they've removed what it was for and it sounds like tis on a Funniest commercials TV show. Anyway, enjoy. Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!
Christmas, that season of perpetual hope and love when all things are possible and humanity turns inward and finds new strength to meet its looming obstacles; a time when all men are overcome with goodwill and great joy.
Although I did notice a trend today. Sorry I've become a reporter on reporting the last few days. It's just that the news has gotten so freaking funny.
LONDON (Reuters) - British police said Friday they were looking for a Santa acting suspiciously -- a flasher who had repeatedly exposed himself to women, including on one occasion while dressed as Father Christmas.
Officers in Swanage on the south coast of England said the flasher had struck a number of times since December 6, and a week later exposed himself whilst wearing a Santa Claus outfit.
"I would be very interested to hear from anyone who may have seen someone acting suspiciously while dressed as Father Christmas in the Gilbert Road or surrounding areas of Swanage town center," Police Constable Jonathan Maunder said.
"These incidents of indecent exposure have caused a great deal of upset to the women that the man has approached."
What's worse than one crazy Santa? Forty drunken crazy Santas.
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialization of Christmas.
Police said some of the Santas threw beer bottles, one tried to climb the mooring rope of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas.
"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald, which reported the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree.
The event organizer, Alex Dyer, had warned the antics would only stop when someone was arrested, said the Herald, which linked the incident to "Santarchy."
Santarchy (www.santarchy.com) and online encyclopedia wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) record protests going back around 10 years in the United States, with participants marking Christmas in anti-commercial manner involving street theater, pranks and public drunkenness.
Police said identification was a key issue as they tried to sort out which of the 40 men and women had done what.
"With a number of people dressed in the same outfit, it was difficult for any witnesses to confirm the identity of who was doing what," Senior Sergeant Matt Rogers told Reuters.
In pondering such meaningful happenings it occured to me that Santa needs to start defending himself from those who would use his image in inappropriate ways. For instance Coke, Santacon, Macy's, and one scene in Jarhead.
And having typed that sentence it occured to me that Jesus needed to do the same thing.
And having typed that sentence I entered Santa and Jesus into Yahoo search and saw how much controversy seems to surround these two. In the first 100 hits my search recieved there were over 20 sites arguing why Jesus was better than Santa and over 10 sites arguing why Santa was in fact the work of or indeed the devil himself.
I just want to quote one of these sites, "Our hope, redemption, and salvation is in Jesus not Santa."
I read that and thought...was there any real debate on this? And then I thought about all the crap I have been writing about; Christmas servcies being canceled, shoppers going nuts, Santas storming stores, protesting the 'Holidays' (by the way a freind pointed out that that word is actually composed of two other words holy and days if any kooks are reading today), Father Christmas getting drunk and flashing ladies, radio airwaves getting crapped into by Christmas music, money getting wasted, people getting stressed, and I came to the only real conclusion I maybe ever have come to about people...
People love drama!
None of these problems is real and I'd sure like to live in a world where people tried to solve the ones that were.
Christmas, that season of perpetual hope and love when all things are possible and humanity turns inward and finds new strength to meet its looming obstacles; a time when all men are overcome with goodwill and great joy.
Although I did notice a trend today. Sorry I've become a reporter on reporting the last few days. It's just that the news has gotten so freaking funny.
LONDON (Reuters) - British police said Friday they were looking for a Santa acting suspiciously -- a flasher who had repeatedly exposed himself to women, including on one occasion while dressed as Father Christmas.
Officers in Swanage on the south coast of England said the flasher had struck a number of times since December 6, and a week later exposed himself whilst wearing a Santa Claus outfit.
"I would be very interested to hear from anyone who may have seen someone acting suspiciously while dressed as Father Christmas in the Gilbert Road or surrounding areas of Swanage town center," Police Constable Jonathan Maunder said.
"These incidents of indecent exposure have caused a great deal of upset to the women that the man has approached."
What's worse than one crazy Santa? Forty drunken crazy Santas.
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialization of Christmas.
Police said some of the Santas threw beer bottles, one tried to climb the mooring rope of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas.
"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald, which reported the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree.
The event organizer, Alex Dyer, had warned the antics would only stop when someone was arrested, said the Herald, which linked the incident to "Santarchy."
Santarchy (www.santarchy.com) and online encyclopedia wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) record protests going back around 10 years in the United States, with participants marking Christmas in anti-commercial manner involving street theater, pranks and public drunkenness.
Police said identification was a key issue as they tried to sort out which of the 40 men and women had done what.
"With a number of people dressed in the same outfit, it was difficult for any witnesses to confirm the identity of who was doing what," Senior Sergeant Matt Rogers told Reuters.
In pondering such meaningful happenings it occured to me that Santa needs to start defending himself from those who would use his image in inappropriate ways. For instance Coke, Santacon, Macy's, and one scene in Jarhead.
And having typed that sentence it occured to me that Jesus needed to do the same thing.
And having typed that sentence I entered Santa and Jesus into Yahoo search and saw how much controversy seems to surround these two. In the first 100 hits my search recieved there were over 20 sites arguing why Jesus was better than Santa and over 10 sites arguing why Santa was in fact the work of or indeed the devil himself.
I just want to quote one of these sites, "Our hope, redemption, and salvation is in Jesus not Santa."
I read that and thought...was there any real debate on this? And then I thought about all the crap I have been writing about; Christmas servcies being canceled, shoppers going nuts, Santas storming stores, protesting the 'Holidays' (by the way a freind pointed out that that word is actually composed of two other words holy and days if any kooks are reading today), Father Christmas getting drunk and flashing ladies, radio airwaves getting crapped into by Christmas music, money getting wasted, people getting stressed, and I came to the only real conclusion I maybe ever have come to about people...
People love drama!
None of these problems is real and I'd sure like to live in a world where people tried to solve the ones that were.
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