Who's up to no good and wishes a man would come up and give him a reason to blast on?

The title today is a lyric from Cypress Hill's song Shoot 'Em Up. I once had the pleasure of seeing Cypress Hill perform. It was one of the few times I seriously wished I smoked weed. A giant skeleton with a massive joint was blown up on stage and the people around me who were smoking almost flipped out for good. I just thought it was a little cool. They are indeed quite cool. Check out their website by clicking on the title.

I decided to add a new feature to Exposing My Thorns.
THE WEEKLY INAPPROPRIATE CHURCH SIGN seems to have taken off and I always need new things to blog about, so today I'm introducing a new award, an honor I will bestow to only 12 folks a year, an anti-disciple list of people I think deserve the experience the awards title suggests. Here's our inaugural winner...

Fred Phelps was born Nov. 13, 1929, in Meridian, Mississippi. Graduated Meridian High at 16 with highest academic honors, American Legion Citizenship Award, track letter, Bausch-Lomb Science Award, Eagle Scout, Principal Appointment to West Point Military Academy. The summer following graduation, he had a profound religious experience, gave up West Point, enrolled instead for Bible/ministerial training at Bob Jones College, Cleveland, Tennessee (later moving with them as they transitioned to Bob Jones University, Greenville, South Carolina). Ordained by the Southern Baptists Sept. 8, 1947. Met his wife, Margie M. Phelps, in 1951 while preaching at the Arizona Bible Institute in Phoenix, Arizona. Their marriage May 15, 1952 has been blessed of God with 13 children, 54 grandchildren (to date) and 5 great-grandchildren (to date). Has served as Pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, since Nov. 1955. WBC has conducted more than 22,000 picketing demonstrations across America and some foreign countries during the past 12 years -- aimed at showing Americans their transgression (Isa. 58:1) and causing America to know her abominations. Ezek. 16:2.

You might not know what these pickets look like, or what they're trying to accomplish. Here's a taste: That's right Fred's 'church', mostly his children and grandchildren travel the country condemning homosexuals...




Women ministers, Billy Graham, the government...




And here's one of Grandpa Fred clearly pissed at Bush, soldiers, dead people, and the colors of the natural universe. Go Jayhawks though, huh Fred?

Fred Phelps, your sheer display of close minded jerkage, unabashed dickheadness, and clear douchebaggery earns you EMT's first-ever...monthly...

DICK CHENEY HUNTING BUDDY AWARD

We can only hope Dick's trigger finger acts up again.
There are only a few people on Earth I could possibly wish hanging out with Dick Cheney on, but 'Pastor' Phelps, minister of the Gospel, I sincerely hope the VP shows some of that moxy that we clearly thought would keep us safer from the people trying to destroy our country.

Let's hope Cheney comes through, one asshole at a time.

If not I guess we'll send John Kerry or Al Gore to bore you to death!