Jump! Go ahead, jump.

This is a Van Halen lyric. I definitely can't recommend any of their music, but I highly encourage folks to click the title to see a really funny clip.

This will be a mostly visual post. I have decided on my monthly award, and feel I can express why almost entirely with the following images and quips...


She has massive ears, he has a massive ego, they are massively overexposed and I am massively annoyed by them.


Here's our boy wiggin out to Oprah's minions.


Can you say, "Tranquilizer Dart"?


Oh yeah, he's an authority on treatment for depression too.

Here's a small window into the depth and range of artistic expression this man has brought to us in his twenty year career...


Tom Cruise plays a jet pilot who is really good at his job. He meets a girl, gets down on his luck, overcomes the odds, wins her love, and is celebrated by everyone around him as the movie ends.


Tom Cruise plays a bartender who is really good at his job. He meets a girl, gets down on his luck, overcomes the odds, wins her love, and is celebrated by everyone around him as the movie ends.


Tom Cruise plays a racecar driver who is really good at his job. He meets a girl, gets down on his luck, overcomes the odds, wins her love, and is celebrated by everyone around him as the movie ends.



Tom Cruise, you are an easy target. Too easy to warrant words. Were I a film critic I would gladly spend time here discussing the difference between an actor and a movie star. You, Nicolas Cage, and Keanu Reeves are movie stars. Ian McKellan, Paul Giammati, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are actors. Tom Hanks, Jack Nicholson, and Samuel L. Jackson are both! However, you are not as bad as the previous winners, so we've dispatched our West Coast agent to handle you. And although you have won this award I will be purchasing a ticket to MI; # in coming days, where I suspect you'll overcome the odds and be celebrated by everyone at the end. In the meantime, congrats, because you are the third recipient of
THE DICK CHENEY HUNTING BUDDY AWARD
in recognition of your general nuisance status in the world delivered here today by our West Coast agent for the DCHBA.


'Terminating' evil one asshole at a time!